Yes is a four letter word...

Y.E.S. Such a short word. So easy to say. Too easy to say. In fact, I can trace most of my exhausted, over-committed, spread-too-thin moments the last few years back to this little word.

That is why I’m declaring “yes” to be the new four letter word I have removed from my vocabulary. I grudgingly admitted in my last post my predisposition to say “yes” to any opportunity that came my way. I said “yes” with good intentions and, like many of you, I never knew how quickly my commitments would add up. I found myself spinning seven plates at once. A difficult balancing act I managed to keep up for far too long. I used to say I “wore lots of hats” - teacher, actor, writer, photographer, essential oil-enthusiast, who volunteered on every committee and then some…and then something happened. Around the same time we decided to move our family to rural Appalachia it dawned on me. Only a damn fool walks around wearing twenty hats at once. My life needed a drastic overhaul. It was simplicity I craved but had no earthly idea HOW to achieve it, or perhaps more importantly, how to maintain it. I had tried numerous times to tweak my schedule. Drop a few commitments, give myself more time for other things, but it never stuck! What was I doing wrong?! In a summer filled with the chaos of a move I had no time to give to the commitments I left behind and all the time to let these thoughts marinate. In the midst of boxes, packing tape, and bubble wrap (which can keep children busy for hours – fyi) I found some answers that had alluded me for so long.

1.       I needed to ask myself “Why?” Instead of “Why not?” What was my motivation behind my choices and commitments? Was it simply to avoid hurting feelings? If so, that is hardly motivation. By examining what motivated each choice I was making I was better able to see which ones were good opportunities – but meant for someone else.  

2.       Was it serving God’s purpose for my life? If the answer wasn’t “yes” then my answer should be “NO!” Always. Period. If I wasn’t serving God’s purpose by serving on such and such committee or making 100 cookies for the bake sale then it was precious time I needed to give elsewhere. If I wasn’t called to fulfill this role then I simply shouldn’t. In fact, by over-extending myself I was robbing others of role they may have been made to fulfill.  

3.       It wasn’t about just doing less. It was about doing BETTER with the less. With too many commitments I was only able to give 10% of my time/energy to each – which hardly makes it worth doing. I found this wonderful quote from Louie Giglio, “Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else. Make sure your yes is worth the less.” Seriously. Is there anything more true?

So when you ask me to do something and I say, “no.” Don’t feel bad. Most people hear that from me now. And if I happen to say “Yes” you should feel especially grateful because I don’t say it often. Know that what I give my time to matters to me. Know that I will not put time and energy into something that does not have a divine purpose in my life. And most importantly, know that you can do the same.

It’s just a busy “season” I used to say. But there’s a thing about seasons - they pass – and my life always seemed to stay in the fast lane. “When school gets out, when we’re finished potty training, when the dance recital wraps up, or my hubby gets the next promotion”…then “life will be easier, we won’t be as rushed, we’ll have more family time…(fill in your own statement.)” How many times have you thought those things? How many times have you believed it?

The truth is that many of us have bought into a lie. A lie based around the “American Dream” that doing more/having more/providing better is what makes life easier and worthwhile. When in reality it’s not.

Fulfillment is not found in climbing the corporate ladder or decorating a Pinterest worthy home. If that’s a piece of satisfying the calling God has for your life then it could be a part of it. But in the hustle and bustle of the day to day can you hear God’s small voice? In the chaos of kiddos spilling cheerios on the floor you’ve swept eleven billion times this week, can you feel your calling? Are you living it out? Or are you waiting for life to slow down to enjoy it more?

Just think on that for a moment.

Isn’t it time to simplify our busy lives?  Perhaps we all need to say “yes” less and enjoy living more.

I am now. And I promise you – saying “no” is not nearly as difficult as I thought it would. N.O. Such a short word. And it feels so good to say.